Intimacy and Acting.

What response does the word intimacy evoke within you? I invite you to ponder, journal, or create a word cloud about this for a moment...

A word cloud exploring the connections made to the word intimacy.

As an acting coach focused on movement, embodiment, and intimacy, I begin each introductory session on intimacy with this question, as it provides a chance for actors to express all the thoughts, ideas, and concerns related to this topic. At first glance, intimacy is often linked to acts involving close physical proximity, touch, nudity, or a sexual nature, yet it encompasses so much more. Intimacy can be emotional, mental, spiritual, and essentially anything that feels revealing or gives us that wobbly, butterfly-feeling sensation of vulnerability.

In fact, the best way to describe intimacy is by reimagining the word as In - To - Me - See.

Rebecca Reaney - Acting and Embodiment workshops and classes - Online, in London and Los Angeles. Photographer: Richie Luwawa

And that might feel revealing. However, the power truly lies there.

Through my work as an intimacy coordinator, movement director, and acting coach, I have come to recognise that at the heart of exceptional acting lies the ability to reveal oneself through the character portrayed. It necessitates a willingness to embrace uncertainty about the outcome and to uncover it along the journey, which can feel deeply vulnerable or resonate with any of the terms mentioned in the word cloud above. Therefore, even before stepping into an intimate scene, it is crucial for an actor to acknowledge that the very nature of this art form inherently embodies intimacy, influencing not only their performance but also their connection with the audience and their scene partner. This understanding can transform their approach to acting, fostering deeper connections, opening up to more creativity, and embracing more authentic portrayals.

Intimacy and vulnerability are closely aligned. Brené Brown's TED Talk serves as a powerful reminder that vulnerability is a vital aspect of our humanity. By embracing our vulnerabilities, we can build stronger connections, enhance our creativity, and live more authentically. Her message resonates across various aspects of life, encouraging individuals to step into the arena and be brave. If this holds true for real life, which is frequently chaotic, flawed, and uncertain, imagine how impactful it could be for your acting. And that's where the distinction lies. Life lacks a script, a fixed timeframe, or a predetermined storyline, whereas acting encompasses all of these elements.

So, can we cultivate vulnerability through practice? Yes, absolutely.

As Chelsea Pace states in 'Staging Sex': 'Vulnerability is setting aside, temporarily, the desire to protect oneself from emotional or physical harm.' It is a skill that can be practiced.

The benefit of this as an actor is that you have the safety net of knowing that it's only a temporary moment within a set structure, speaking set words to say within a set time limit within the imaginary unreal scenarios that you are playing.

A woman in a white dress gazes thoughtfully out of a large window, softly illuminated by the natural light streaming in. Photographer: Sarah Prikryl.

I'm brought on board as an intimacy coordinator when stories involving intimacy need to be depicted, whether that includes nudity, simulated sexual acts, kissing, or simply because the dialogue or underlying themes have an intimate quality. Collaborating on intimate scenes with actors creates a structure guided by each actor's personal boundaries to develop a choreographed sequence that conveys an intimate narrative. Working together, we ask what the purpose of the moment is, how it changes the narrative or drives the story forward, etc. This structure enables the actors to trustfully embody their characters and express their story.

Within this consent-led culture, with de-sexualised language and choreography, they are then free to breathe life into the text and do their job to the best of their ability. Will it eliminate the feelings linked to vulnerability? Not necessarily, but I believe this can be incredibly powerful for an actor to utilise. The physical sensations associated with feeling vulnerable, such as wobbly legs, faster heart rate, butterflies in the stomach, the sensation of tipping into the unknown, the heightened awareness of your senses... all that keeps you alive and vital as an actor, which viscerally transmits to the audience. It's powerful, authentic, and connected.

If you are in sensation as an actor, as in mentally aware of physical sensations, you will always be alive to the present moment. And that is exciting to watch. That is being connected to your instincts and responding from an embodied place.

As actors, your job is to be more real in your unreal imaginary stories than we ever are in the 'real world'. In the real world, we are doing such a good job of pretending, curating our lives on social media, and putting a mask on to survive or fit in or any other number of reasons. Many of the obstacles and fears in acting stem from a fear of intimacy. It requires stepping out of your emotional comfort zone into situations where you lack full control, encountering unexpected sensations. I adore Uta Hagen's reflections on this matter...

Quote from Uta Hagen emphasises the importance of openness for authentic communication with the audience.

Acting is intimate because it involves sharing a private moment publicly, always engaging with others beyond yourself. So the feelings associated with vulnerability are not just connected to when an actor is working on a scene with an intimate narrative; it's also incorporating this within the art form for any scene, for any moment.

And so what would be the one recommendation for beginning to build your vulnerability practice?

Space.

Space is an act of intimacy.

Space for not knowing. Space for awkwardness. Space for silences. Space for discovery. Space for listening. Space for really seeing. Space for breath. Space for each moment. Space for all the physical sensations arising in your body so you can feel alive in the moment and build authentic connection.

A person sits alone in a sunlit, minimalist room, deeply engrossed in reading, casting a long shadow across the floor.

Whenever we don't allow space to simply land in with ourselves and connect, we don't give ourselves the chance to practice setting aside the temporary desire to close off from those feelings associated with vulnerability. Our default reaction when we feel a little wobbly or uncertain is to quickly move on, and speed is the enemy of intimacy.

How can you invite more space into your life, your acting process, and each moment, allowing yourself the freedom to feel, breathe, and be open to the magic of discovery?

A filmmaker captures a contemplative moment of an actor in a sunlit, industrial studio, highlighting the artistry and emotion of performance through the lens.

Exceptional acting possesses a distinct charm that draws us in. Your role is crucial to our society, helping us recall the essence of humanity. Through shared experiences of laughter and tears, this art form connects us, making the audience feel part of something greater. Like any art, acting and vulnerability improve with practice, and each new script, rehearsal, or performance offers a chance for growth. Remember, you are enough. Every emotion already resides within you, but it's essential to create space to receive and express the energy, feeling, or sensation that emerges from that emotion, and then share that space with the audience so it resonates with them as well.  

The true magic happens when actors dare to give space to the intimacy that lies at the heart of every performance. Embrace it, cherish it, and recognise the remarkable power of storytelling. You are gloriously enough and this world needs you, the real revealed you to authentically tell the truth.

Audience members seated in a warmly lit theatre, eagerly anticipating the start of a performance as the stage lights glow brightly.

Thank you.

Love,

Rebecca x

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Movement Director for theatre in London, New York City and Los Angeles. Intimacy Co-ordinator for theatre in London, New York City and Los Angeles. Acting Coach Online for private coaching and groups. Acting and embodiment workshops and classes - Online, in London and Los Angeles.Movement Coach for actors in Film, TV and Theatre.